How to Overcome Social Anxiety About Your Acne

Feeling self-conscious about acne is not a matter of vanity – it is a matter of feeling comfortable in your own skin, which is a very real, very difficult challenge. This is especially difficult when the majority of media and society is telling us that perfect skin is not just attainable, but expected. As such, acne can take a serious toll on our emotional well-being. We know that firsthand.

We spoke to Azra Alic, LCSW, a therapist who specializes in Social Anxiety Disorder and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, such as skin picking. She walked us through some of the steps that she takes with her clients who battle acne-induced social anxiety. Have you ever been at a social gathering and felt like you couldn’t actually BE yourself because your acne was affecting your confidence? In this post, Azra gave us some tools to overcome those moments.

Q: How have you seen acne affect one’s emotional wellbeing?

A: Acne can really impact people’s self-esteem, and can even lead to depression. I’ve worked with people who feel so self-conscious that they don’t want to be around other people. They might avoid spending time with friends or avoid dating.

They might also avoid certain outdoor activities so they don’t have to wear clothing that reveals body acne, or avoid exercise or other activities where they might sweat their makeup off. This can lead to people feeling like acne prevents them from fully enjoying their life.  

Q: Why do we feel like people are staring at our acne? Do other people notice our acne as much as we do?

A: Nope! People usually think more about themselves than they do about other people. Sometimes I have my client do what’s called a behavioral experiment to help them test out their theories. I’ll have them walk around a public area without wearing makeup and try to see how many people “stare” at them. Sometimes I’ll record them while they’re walking around a public area and we’ll watch the video together to see if anyone gave them a weird look. People are usually surprised to find that their worst fears didn’t come true. I’d recommend this experiment for anyone out there who deals with social anxiety and acne.

Q: What are some unhealthy, common methods people tend to use to try and hide their acne from their peers and social circles?

A: I’ve worked with people who spend excessive time getting ready and camouflaging their acne before going out in public. They won’t go out in public without excessive preparation. They can never be spontaneous. They spend a lot of money on make-up and skincare products. Depending on the location of the acne, people may take great care to style their hair to conceal acne or acne scars. People might avoid certain clothing or activities because they don’t want to expose their acne or acne scars.

Q: How do you help your clients overcome anxiety around acne in social settings?

A: I help people focus on the social experience, rather than focusing on their appearance. For example, I’ll encourage them to try really hard to focus on the conversation they’re having. Be present! By practicing mindfulness in this way, people can learn to be fully in the moment without paying as much attention to their negative thoughts about their skin. 

Q: While body image issues are often such a huge topic in our current media, why do you think we don’t hear as much about anxiety and insecurities around acne or other skin issues?

A: Hmm that is a good question. I would guess that it’s because most of the advertising and product development in our culture is still based on prevention and elimination of skin imperfections, rather than on accepting skin variations and skin flare-ups.

While “plus size models” are more common now, I think we have yet to see an editorial spread in which a model has a pimple (not to mention a pore!).

Also, I think there is just still an overarching belief in popular media about “if you look good, you’ll feel good” and that gets reinforced over and over again in so many ways, whether it’s related to weight, skin, hair type, etc. But trying to find confidence solely through “looking good” is a never-ending battle.

Q: How do we get ourselves to see more than our skin flaws when we look in the mirror?

A: It can be helpful to step away from the mirror a bit and take in the whole body, rather than getting up close to the mirror and focusing only on the body parts we are most self-conscious about.

Also, focusing on what is going to happen that day and why it’s important, rather than focusing on how the person feels about themselves. For example, the thought “I’m going out with my friends tonight because these friendships are important to me” can start to negate the negative thought of “I have a big pimple and everyone is going to see”.

Q: Do you have a good mantra to pass along to help those struggling with acne accept their skin? 

A: Hmm I don’t have a go-to mantra because I usually have clients come up with their own, but often it’s along the lines of… “my skin problem is probably not as noticeable as I think it is, and even if people notice, what is so bad about that? Can I handle whatever happens?”

Deep down, most people are afraid of being rejected for their perceived flaws but usually, that fear is unfounded.

Q: Do you think that, through sharing personal struggles about these topics either with our peers, online, or via social media, we can begin to foster a more skin-accepting community and discussion? 

A: Yes! Talking about insecurities and being vulnerable with others plays a big role in reducing feelings of shame and isolation. So often, people think that they are the only ones who are struggling with negative self-image when statistics tell us otherwise.

I do think it’s important to caution people about the “misery loves company” mentality and make sure that people are not just complaining to one another or placating or reassuring each other, but rather that the messages being exchanged are empowering.

Thank you, Azra, for the advice!

 

So what are our steps to feeling better about our “imperfections”?

1) Look people in the eye when you’re having a conversation with them.

2) Be present.

3) Remember that you are always your own worst critic.

4) And, finally, remind yourself that your breakouts do not impact your self worth.

 

Let us know your tips to overcoming acne anxiety at info@cocokind.com.


13 Comments

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Juliana Banuelos on

Im 15 and Im dealing with bad acne, sometimes my acne would appear over night. I don’t use makeup Because I know it would make it worse. I cut off junk food and greasy food I also stuck to drinking water only. I’ve been cleaning my face day and night everyday but I really haven’t been seeing any clear results.

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Amar on

It’s very hard when you can’t face yourself in the mirror.
It’s hard when people tell you how bad your acne are.

But after all this there is one thing which cannot change is your mindset that you perceive over the time.
I had acne till i was 26 years old, and its been an year or so that i am completely off from this. I can tell you just one thing is that It cant get worse then this. the day you realize that this is it, now the only scope is improving that day you will feel free from all the stress that you you have developed.

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S Munster on

My life revolves around my skin. I’m constantly looking in the mirror, looking at the few actives I have but the massive amount of scarring. It gives me anxiety. I hate it and always wonder why this skin disease has to happen to me.

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Carrie on

Hi I’m 44 this year and just finished cancer treatments. Then about a month later I start breaking out. I had bad acne as a teen into my 20 and for the last 20 years it has been good. Def know that is is a hormonal thing because of the cancer and having to go off birth control and take a hormone blocker. Trying to stay positive but to be honest I stress more about the acne then the possibility of the cancer coming back. Should be worrying about wrinkles not stupid pimples at my age.

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Anna Lopez on

I’m 20 years old and I’ve had acne since I’ve been 11 years old. I have tried every topical treatment that doctors have given me and my face always grows a resistance to all of them. It has reached a point where I feel completely hopeless. I honestly feel ugly all the time, I do not like my face at all. I’ve never been asked out, no one has ever been attracted to me, guys never pay any attention to me and the only conclusion I can come up with is that it’s because of my acne. My acne has stopped any kind of love life from happening, it has given me severe depression and anxiety, and it’s made me completely give up. I wish I didn’t feel so alone with this issue.

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David on

I’m 40 and have been fighting acne since a teen. For all you fighting out there, it will get better, but do not stop fighting. In order of importance, I will say try this:
1. NO ANTIBIOTICS – dermatologists are too quick to prescribe it. I developed resistance and it was a NIGHTMARE. Don’t do it, long term use can develop gram negative folliculitus. It’s bad stuff – please hear me.
2. Stop all dairy and gluten – it’s hard but it is necessary. Depending on your severity, go to a low inflammation diet and look to cut out all sugar.
3. Only after no. 1 and 2, then start playing with your regimen – face wash 2x per day (no more), moisturizer, sunscreen, spot treatment, concealer, etc. – read reviews and TEST small patch before applying. Make small changes not wholesale moves of all products.
4. I highly recommend considering nutritional supplements – zinc, fish oil, probiotics, turmeric, gut balance items, etc. Find a nutritionist to support you in this.
5. No high intensity workouts (e.g. boot camps, power lifting, insanity, etc.). Cardio 3x per week for 25-30 mins with 2-3 days of yoga to keep yourself cool.

Even after this, it will come to managing this journey (it’s a disease unfortunately, so it’s all moderation and finding balance).

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Shivanih on

Ive had acne since I was 11 years old at that time my mom dismissed saying its just puberty which Probably what it was but I’m almost 20 now and I still suffer from acne i do have hormonal issues but nothing helps i watch my diet , exercise and drink water as well, but it just won’t go away. Ive been using recommended products etc they do a little help but the acne just always pops back..i don’t know if it will ever end..i feel so powerless

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Alison on

I struggle with skin issues, always have off and on. I get it.
I’ve come to realize in adulthood that it is so much less about skin care (aside from moisturizer- a must!), and more about diet and hormones. I think it’s different for everyone but ultimately, as a person of science, I cannot possibly imagine how diet (carbs, refined sugar, processed foods) does not play a direct role in how certain people’s skin is affected by hormonal acne.
Sugar=insulin= free testosterone (and other reactions in the body) = increase sebum… etc – we know the rest. Causes more stress, we lose sleep over it (or other more important things, even), more skin issues… we get sad and eat more shit… at least I do!! it’s a terrible cycle.

No amount of scrubbing or hiding from the outside will fix what is happening from the inside out.

I am following modern advice and my skin flare up is starting to simmer down. I got my worst breakout of my life at 33!

Medication was doing nothing to help deep cysts, painful and red as hell for weeks at a time. I wouldn’t go get the kids from daycare or the bus stop. I was missing my oldest play sports because I wanted to avoid talking to the parents or coaches, for my skin. It was so sad.
I strongly believe in looking at non-western societies and how they nourish themselves and what they expose themselves to.

From my experience, I would do your own research. Nobody knows your body better than you and Drs only go by the literature… I’d Look for food sensitivities FIRST THING! This is totally within your control- no prescription needed. Try an elimination diet for two weeks -get very, very basic on diet and see if there’s improvement. Look for hormone disrupters in your current routines, eat less but eat well (natural/nutritious) , sleep, hydrate always, be less “busy”, protect the energy around you as best you can, and work on your self-care/self-love. Exercise is supposed to help too. Haha. Haven’t gotten there quiet yet. I hate to sweat ;)
I’ve personally seen a huge difference these last two months and am only seeing improvement as time goes on. Still using prescription benzoyl peroxide and vitamin a for scaring but it’s actually working, after months of only getting painfully worse. I can actually cover my acne with makeup again. It’s subsiding and I couldn’t be happier so I thought I’d share.
Good luck to you all.

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anonymous on

People would always cover their faces on social media thinking they’re ugly while they have the perfect smile and clear skin. I do not understand their ways. They would say they do not care about looks and everybody is the same to get a good reputation for themselves while they insult people because of their acne. I have acne and try to hide it but always covering my face with my sweater. My parents would say it’s just puberty but I do not think so. I wish everyday to just rip off my face and get a new shiny one but of course that will never happen. If your reading this and is insecure about your face, just know there’s clones of you out in the world dealing with the same problem and your not alone. (:

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Cole on

I’ve had acne all over my body and face for two years now and I have gradually gotten more and more insecure about it, it’s to the point where I can’t even wear a regular t-shirt anymore. My face, neck, arms, back, shoulders, chest, and even torso have developed severe acne. I walk in the halls of my high school and feel extreme jealousy looking at people with clear arms like it’s expected. Despite my best efforts over the past two years to fight my acne it’s just gotten worse.

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Jonathan on

I hate my acne it is super bad like very bad to the point we’re ive had to use 3+ kinds of medications and I wish it would just go away I hate it

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Lacey on

I suffer with horrible acne which makes me cover my acne with makeup everyday it’s so bad that i feel like people won’t date me because of it or don’t like me it gets in the way of living my life and i literally don’t know what to do about it anymore i’ve tried so many skin products to make it get better and sometimes i feel like it gets better but after i think it’s getting better i break out again:/

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Karrington Nuon on

I am very insecure about my acne, it honestly isn’t bad compared to a lot of people, but I am a guy, and I wear some concealer to hide it, I spend an hour or two getting ready for any social event trying to cover my acne, I sometimes do not attend social events, I am afraid of being seen by people in the raw light of the outdoors. My life revolves around my acne, it is the worst, people with perfect skin do not understand how blessed they are to be able to wake up everyday and not have 10-20+ new pimples on their face in the morning. I hate it, and I don’t know what to do.

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